Blogging this semester wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. At first I wasn't really looking forward to it. Once I understood and decided my topic; it got easier. I got the hang of it fairly quickly and my topic really didn't need a lot of research since it was me writing about my personal experiences. I did, though, have a little trouble with writer's block but I eventually bounced back.
The research I did do was very interesting because not only did it help with my grade but I really did learn a lot from them that helped me get a better picture of what my grandparents are going through. If I hadn't written this blog I wonder if I would have gotten as involved as I am now in asking questions and looking for answers about these mental conditions. Writing this blog made me want to keep getting updated on my grandparents and to know more about what my aunts and uncles wanted to do to help them. It helped me decide what I think could help and I even got to suggest some to my parents. I could tell that they were appreciative that I had in some way helped my dad by listening to his worries and using facts to settle his mind. In a way, writing and explaining my family's situation in this blog has even helped me on a whole new level of dealing with the fact that my grandparents are getting worse. They're becoming weaker and growing more ill and they may not have much time left. By writing it out and showing people, it's made it alot easier to talk about.
In my search to find other blogs like mine with a first person view on taking care of sick family members, I came up short which was a little dissapointing. I thought there would be tons of different people out there with stories to tell that could be similar to mine. Instead, there were just a lot of "How To's" and advice on what someone could do but none of them sounded like they had experienced anything like this firsthand. I know there are plenty of people and families out there who are affected by diseases like dementia, conditions like depression, and just simply by old age or a combination of the three. I really hope my blog shows people that they are not alone. That every family that goes up against something like this has problems, disagreements, and moments of pure uncertainty. But the main message to remember is that these situations also bring them closer together. Because of this, my family gets together more often, we all talk to each other more and for the most part everyone puts forth a big effort for my grandparents for that very reason: time.
The doctors came to a final diagnosis of my grandmother's condition. They say she has Vascular Dementia. There are websites on the causes, signs, symptoms and even treatment. Now that we at last know what we're up against, my family can now just put together a plan of action and hopefully my grandma will be home soon. I don't know what will happen next for sure but I'm still hoping for the best.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
On Easter Sunday, one of the family's close friends rented a big van for everyone to go up and visit my grandma for the day. I didn't go because I had to pick up my brother and mom from BWI Airport (they were coming home from my mom's parents' house in Michigan). But I don't think any of my other cousins went either. They also didn't take my grandpa because my grandma has been getting angry at him whenever he visits. So one of his friends from church took him out to visit my grandpa's brother and to see some of his family, which is something he's really been wanting to do for a while now. So it sounded like he had a good Easter.
While my grandpa was out with his friend, my dad, Tommy (the family friend), my uncles and my aunts all went up to visit my grandma in Baltimore. My Dad said once my grandma saw them all she started shaking from the shock of then being there and didn't look so good. But after she rested a bit and the nurses calmed her down she was at least a little happy to see them. She was in a lot of pain, my family was told, I'm guessing due to her arthritis. I thought it was a really nice thing for them to do as siblings (and friends). Maybe by all of them being there and everyone saying how much they love her and miss her and by showering her with hugs and kisses, it might improve her attitude towards the family. But as optimistic as I want to be through this process, I've learned that this sickness has made my grandma incredibly unpredictable so one can only hope.
While my grandpa was out with his friend, my dad, Tommy (the family friend), my uncles and my aunts all went up to visit my grandma in Baltimore. My Dad said once my grandma saw them all she started shaking from the shock of then being there and didn't look so good. But after she rested a bit and the nurses calmed her down she was at least a little happy to see them. She was in a lot of pain, my family was told, I'm guessing due to her arthritis. I thought it was a really nice thing for them to do as siblings (and friends). Maybe by all of them being there and everyone saying how much they love her and miss her and by showering her with hugs and kisses, it might improve her attitude towards the family. But as optimistic as I want to be through this process, I've learned that this sickness has made my grandma incredibly unpredictable so one can only hope.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
This past Saturday, I went with my Dad to visit my grandmother at the psych ward in Baltimore. I have to say i've never been to a place like that and I was actually pretty nervous. I don't like seeing the people who live in places like psych wards or nursing homes.
One reason being that I hate the smells. Between the weird food smells and the smell of sick people, I always want to hold my breath while being in those kinds of places. Secondly, because I just hate seeing older people who aren't able to do anything and seem like they're suffering. For example, the people who can't talk, eat or walk and all they do is sleep and drool. It makes me really uncomfortable to see someone so weak and heavily medicated. All I can think about is the fact that that person is someone's parent, sibling, cousin or best friend and the thought of any of my family or friends in that condition would crush me so I imagine how hard it is for others.
The first thing I noticed about this part of the hospital in Baltimore was that it was SO nice! The lunch rooms, hallways, lobbies and patient rooms were very clean, and had such comfortable furniture to sit on. The colors they used were bright and there was art made by patients and dontated to the hospital by other people hanging on all the walls or sitting in window stills along the hallways. But then again the only psych wards i've seen are the dirty ones portrayed in movies. Though it is good to know they aren't like that (or at least the one my grandma isn't like that)!
Seeing my grandma though was a different story. She looks weaker than ever now. She's lost alot of weight and her hair is becoming more gray and brittle. The second she saw us, she started crying which made my Dad really upset too. Throughout our visit she would randomly just start sobbing so I had to keep talking about random things like my brother and school and work to get her to stop. She even started to mention my grandpa and his women at one point. Some of the strange things the other patients were doing distracted her also.
We were out in the lobby of the wing she was in, when another patient, a tired looking woman in a wheelchair, reached out and grabbed my Dad's pants and said," What size do you wear?". He turned around real fast to look and when she realized she did not know my Dad, she was like,"Sorry I thought you were my husband standing right next to me." She kept mumbling things to herself afterwards, too. Another man kept lifting up his hospital gown but thankfully he had shorts on under it. A shorter woman got out of her seat and started to try to throw her chair and then tried to stand on it but the nurses made her stop. There was another older man who had his hands bandaged (i'm guessing so he wouldn't scratch himself) and his legs were extremely skinny.
I'm really glad I went to see my grandma and even though we were really only there for an hour (you can't stay long or else she starts getting really irritable) and even though she spent most of the time being upset, I know she was glad to see me and my Dad. And even though there really were some odd people there, it made me feel better that I got to see her too. The reason why she was so upset was because she thinks that the doctor is going to make her stay there for longer than just two weeks. Honestly, unless they get her on the right meds or some kind of miracle happens I, too, think she is going to be there for a while.
One reason being that I hate the smells. Between the weird food smells and the smell of sick people, I always want to hold my breath while being in those kinds of places. Secondly, because I just hate seeing older people who aren't able to do anything and seem like they're suffering. For example, the people who can't talk, eat or walk and all they do is sleep and drool. It makes me really uncomfortable to see someone so weak and heavily medicated. All I can think about is the fact that that person is someone's parent, sibling, cousin or best friend and the thought of any of my family or friends in that condition would crush me so I imagine how hard it is for others.
The first thing I noticed about this part of the hospital in Baltimore was that it was SO nice! The lunch rooms, hallways, lobbies and patient rooms were very clean, and had such comfortable furniture to sit on. The colors they used were bright and there was art made by patients and dontated to the hospital by other people hanging on all the walls or sitting in window stills along the hallways. But then again the only psych wards i've seen are the dirty ones portrayed in movies. Though it is good to know they aren't like that (or at least the one my grandma isn't like that)!
Seeing my grandma though was a different story. She looks weaker than ever now. She's lost alot of weight and her hair is becoming more gray and brittle. The second she saw us, she started crying which made my Dad really upset too. Throughout our visit she would randomly just start sobbing so I had to keep talking about random things like my brother and school and work to get her to stop. She even started to mention my grandpa and his women at one point. Some of the strange things the other patients were doing distracted her also.
We were out in the lobby of the wing she was in, when another patient, a tired looking woman in a wheelchair, reached out and grabbed my Dad's pants and said," What size do you wear?". He turned around real fast to look and when she realized she did not know my Dad, she was like,"Sorry I thought you were my husband standing right next to me." She kept mumbling things to herself afterwards, too. Another man kept lifting up his hospital gown but thankfully he had shorts on under it. A shorter woman got out of her seat and started to try to throw her chair and then tried to stand on it but the nurses made her stop. There was another older man who had his hands bandaged (i'm guessing so he wouldn't scratch himself) and his legs were extremely skinny.
I'm really glad I went to see my grandma and even though we were really only there for an hour (you can't stay long or else she starts getting really irritable) and even though she spent most of the time being upset, I know she was glad to see me and my Dad. And even though there really were some odd people there, it made me feel better that I got to see her too. The reason why she was so upset was because she thinks that the doctor is going to make her stay there for longer than just two weeks. Honestly, unless they get her on the right meds or some kind of miracle happens I, too, think she is going to be there for a while.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
A lot has happened recently with my grandma. She had stopped eating, drinking, and taking her medicines. She refused to bathe and clean herself up. My grandma had officially begun to give up trying to live. Because of this, my aunts, uncles, and parents had to step in and do something.
Everytime my family has tried to call 911 to take my grandma to a hospital, she refuses to go and unless you are gushing blood and on the verdge of death, the emt's won't take you if you don't want to go. With my family at our wit's end, my aunt decided to go and get a court order to force my grandmother to go to the hospital so she could get help. The judge granted her the order and my grandma had no choice; she had to leave the house. After checking her in and getting her settled in the room, my grandmother was in tears. She claimed that her kid's didn't love her anymore and said she was so angry that she didn't wish to speak to any of them. My Dad and my aunts were crushed because of this. They've done all of this out of pure unconditional love for their mother and she sees the complete opposite. My grandma even lied and told the nurses that her children abused her so social services had to step in and talk to my aunts who explained that she stopped eating and everything so my family was cleared.
After about a week my grandma still refuses to talk to my aunts and my Uncle Terry but apparently she's okay with my Dad and my Uncle T.C. now. When my Dad was on the phone with her, she was telling him that nobody loves her and that she's most likely dying of a broken heart because of my grandpa and his "girls." He repeatedly tells her that he loves her but it's gotten so bad to the point where she pretty much doesn't beleive anything you say to her.
The hospital's psychiatrist started doing some evaluations and says that my grandma is having not only severe delusions, but also hallucinations. He suspects her of having psychosis. According to PubMed Health, Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, usually including false beliefs about what is taking place and who one is, while also seeing or hearing things that aren't there. But to be absolutely sure, the hospital psychiatrist recommended that she go to a psych ward in Baltimore to run more tests. The nurses there say she settled in fine and was doing okay so far; so fits or episodes...yet.
I have to admit I really didn't see this coming or seeing her illness become so serious. It's literally been like two months and that's all it took for her to go so downhill in her health. It's one thing to be sick and have arthritis or something but her sickness is in her brain and that's the worst part. Because how do you fix something like psychosis? It completely disrupts and alters a person's lifestyle by limiting so much and in an addition to her depression, it's really not looking so good. As much as I don't want my grandma to die, I can't help but think it's right around the corner.
References:
"Psychosis," PubMed Health, A.D.A.M Inc: 2012. < http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002520/>
Everytime my family has tried to call 911 to take my grandma to a hospital, she refuses to go and unless you are gushing blood and on the verdge of death, the emt's won't take you if you don't want to go. With my family at our wit's end, my aunt decided to go and get a court order to force my grandmother to go to the hospital so she could get help. The judge granted her the order and my grandma had no choice; she had to leave the house. After checking her in and getting her settled in the room, my grandmother was in tears. She claimed that her kid's didn't love her anymore and said she was so angry that she didn't wish to speak to any of them. My Dad and my aunts were crushed because of this. They've done all of this out of pure unconditional love for their mother and she sees the complete opposite. My grandma even lied and told the nurses that her children abused her so social services had to step in and talk to my aunts who explained that she stopped eating and everything so my family was cleared.
After about a week my grandma still refuses to talk to my aunts and my Uncle Terry but apparently she's okay with my Dad and my Uncle T.C. now. When my Dad was on the phone with her, she was telling him that nobody loves her and that she's most likely dying of a broken heart because of my grandpa and his "girls." He repeatedly tells her that he loves her but it's gotten so bad to the point where she pretty much doesn't beleive anything you say to her.
The hospital's psychiatrist started doing some evaluations and says that my grandma is having not only severe delusions, but also hallucinations. He suspects her of having psychosis. According to PubMed Health, Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, usually including false beliefs about what is taking place and who one is, while also seeing or hearing things that aren't there. But to be absolutely sure, the hospital psychiatrist recommended that she go to a psych ward in Baltimore to run more tests. The nurses there say she settled in fine and was doing okay so far; so fits or episodes...yet.
I have to admit I really didn't see this coming or seeing her illness become so serious. It's literally been like two months and that's all it took for her to go so downhill in her health. It's one thing to be sick and have arthritis or something but her sickness is in her brain and that's the worst part. Because how do you fix something like psychosis? It completely disrupts and alters a person's lifestyle by limiting so much and in an addition to her depression, it's really not looking so good. As much as I don't want my grandma to die, I can't help but think it's right around the corner.
References:
"Psychosis," PubMed Health, A.D.A.M Inc: 2012. < http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002520/>
Monday, March 26, 2012
In the search for another source to use for my anaylsis paper, I came across the Emedicine health page on Stroke-Related Dementia that helps make the connections between strokes and the likeliness of developing dementia. I originally searched this site weeks ago because I was curious if it were possible that my grandmother's severe delusions could be linked to stroke-related dementia. Turns, out that it's not only possible, but 9 times more likely because of her stroke and it normally shows up within a year post-stroke.
This website made it a little clearer that because a stroke is so violent on the brain, there are a lot of negative symptoms that can arise because of the damage. This source can add on to and help give my paper more facts to support my idea's on what could have resulted from my grandma's stroke.
References:
This website made it a little clearer that because a stroke is so violent on the brain, there are a lot of negative symptoms that can arise because of the damage. This source can add on to and help give my paper more facts to support my idea's on what could have resulted from my grandma's stroke.
References:
"Stroke-Related Dementia," EMedicine Health. Web MD, Inc: 2012.<http://www.emedicinehealth.com/stroke-related_dementia/article_em.htm>
Monday, March 19, 2012
My Aunt Lorri's weekend was this past one and she claimed it'd be too much to take care of her parents with my Grandma's episodes, so she made a call to get some help. Bee, the night nurse that quit (because my grandma tried to hit her a few times and accused her of sleeping with my grandpa), came back last weekend to care for my Grandparents. And an even bigger suprise: my grandmother was thrilled to see her.
The whole weekend, Bee had no problem with her. My grandma talked to her and was polite and everything. She ate her meals (she's been alot eating less) and took her medicine (she's also been protesting). I don't know if Bee is coming back for good, or what but it's kind of nice to hear something somewhat positive, even if it is just for a weekend.
With all the bad things going on with my grandma, it almost seems like my grandpa has been getting better in comparison. He really does remember alot when you speak to him. He can recall stories from a young age, stories about his mom and brothers, about his children and so much more. He just forgets small details like age, names sometimes slip, and if he's somewhere new, he asks if you know the way home. But the other things he does like miss the toilet and become weaker and things like that are mostly just the toll of old age.
Maybe it's just because my grandma has been spiraling so hard,that makes him seem fine; but as weird as it sounds, it's a little comforting to know he's been okay and doing well. It sucks enough to have to see and hear a grandparent become really sick like my grandma has and I know no matter how angry she gets at random, she's glad he's there. Through her struggles, he's become stronger. During her fits and rages, he's calm and composed. And while she's in tears he's the first one there trying to comfort her. At night when she goes to sleep, he turns on a night light so she can see while going to the bathroom and is always asking everyone around if she's okay.
I'm thankful that my grandpa is holding it together for everyone, by being as healthy as he can be and even throwing in some humor while he's at it. It's a bit of a stress reliever that for now, we just have to focus on one grandparent and if we can get her to cooperate, then we'll be closer to helping them find stability and happiness again.
The whole weekend, Bee had no problem with her. My grandma talked to her and was polite and everything. She ate her meals (she's been alot eating less) and took her medicine (she's also been protesting). I don't know if Bee is coming back for good, or what but it's kind of nice to hear something somewhat positive, even if it is just for a weekend.
With all the bad things going on with my grandma, it almost seems like my grandpa has been getting better in comparison. He really does remember alot when you speak to him. He can recall stories from a young age, stories about his mom and brothers, about his children and so much more. He just forgets small details like age, names sometimes slip, and if he's somewhere new, he asks if you know the way home. But the other things he does like miss the toilet and become weaker and things like that are mostly just the toll of old age.
Maybe it's just because my grandma has been spiraling so hard,that makes him seem fine; but as weird as it sounds, it's a little comforting to know he's been okay and doing well. It sucks enough to have to see and hear a grandparent become really sick like my grandma has and I know no matter how angry she gets at random, she's glad he's there. Through her struggles, he's become stronger. During her fits and rages, he's calm and composed. And while she's in tears he's the first one there trying to comfort her. At night when she goes to sleep, he turns on a night light so she can see while going to the bathroom and is always asking everyone around if she's okay.
I'm thankful that my grandpa is holding it together for everyone, by being as healthy as he can be and even throwing in some humor while he's at it. It's a bit of a stress reliever that for now, we just have to focus on one grandparent and if we can get her to cooperate, then we'll be closer to helping them find stability and happiness again.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
This past week was my family's turn to care for my grandparents. My grandma has been on what seems as if a downward spiral with her accusations of my grandpa's "affairs." For some reason she just won't let it go. It's almost like an obsession to her.
To me, it's been seeming a lot like she may have Dementia like my grandpa but maybe more severe since she's been extremely delusional. While my mom was there last weekend, it was only her and my grandparents in the house but my grandpa was in his room mumbling to himself and my grandma started freaking out saying, "who's in the room with Freddie? Who's he talking to? Is it those girls again?" My mom just reminded her that they were the only ones in the house and she dropped it...for a little while. My grandparents can't be left in the same room for long periods of time now since all my grandmother does is hurl rude and hurtful words and names towards my grandfather.
The insults also go to others and not just my grandpa. She's yelled and insulted other people in my family also. She even got after my brother for trying to help her when she fell in the bathroom on Saturday. He went to help get her up and she told him "No I don't want your help. You don't know what your doing. Don't touch me" and things like that. And it really did hurt his feelings too.
Clearly because she is still on the whole "cheating husband" thing, it's been causing me to do more research on strokes and the effects on the brain. I know strokes can effect the left side of the body and cause paralysis on one side of the body but what else could strokes do to the human brain?
During my search I found some things on EMedicine Health about Stroke Related Dementia. Depending on which parts of the brain that is damaged, determines exactly what symptoms that will occur. Paralysis, loss of bowel control, along with cognitive mental functions, judgement, memory, thinking, organization, and reasoning are all on the symptoms list (Stroke Related Dementia). The statistics even state that a stroke survivor is about nine times more likely to develop dementia then non stroke havers. Also, that about one in four people start to show dementia symptoms within one year of the stroke.
With just this little bit of information it can help answer my question about the likeliness of my grandmother's delusions being formed from the stroke and also even being signs of a more severe form of dementia than what my grandpa has. Her stroke could've damaged the part of the brain that does the reasoning, hard thinking and judgement explaining her sudden irrational paranoia of my grandfather's faithfulness. Maybe if my family got more into researching her symptoms we could come to a conclusion and even have some evidence to show the doctors so they can help with her problems. They don't see it because whenever she goes into the doctors office she's pretty much on her best behavior so they don't see or hear the nasty things she says or thinks that is going on in her house.
I'm just really ready to get down to the bottom of it once and for all. I know my grandma and she's not this cruel person that either the stroke, meds, or depression has turned her into. She's always been one of the sweetest people i've ever known and to see her either angry, mean, or in tears is just not okay with me. I just feel like right now no one knows what to do. We're all just standing around hoping Grandma will come back to us. The real her. I just really hope it's not too late and that somehow, someway, we can get her back.
References:
"Stroke-Related Dementia," EMedicine Health. Web MD,Inc: 2012.<http://www.emedicinehealth.com/stroke-related_dementia/article_em.htm>
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