Both of my grandparents have spent their lives as hardworking parents, spouses, and employees.  Because of this, they are used to doing things on their own and don't really like it that nowadays they are extremely limited to what they are able to do by themselves.  It upsets them greatly that they now have to depend on not only family but professional nurses; people they've never met before. "Receiving long-term care for the first time, or receiving it from a new person, may change important relationships and cause emotional distress." (Older People and Mental Health)

My Grandma loves to cook and bake but she can't stand up for very long periods of time without being in pain. The housework would be too strenuous for her too. Her arthritis bothers her hands sometimes also, so there isn't much she can do that won't result in an achy feeling. My grandma isn't supposed to walk without her walker (even though she does it anyways) for the fear that she could fall again. Last time she fell really hard and left her arms and face badly bruised. It was then that it really hit home that she has to depend on the walker to get around.

She can no longer drive herself to church or the grocery store and sometimes she even needs help getting dressed and showered. Even though there are ways to maybe help her be more active and help do things in the kitchen, I think just the fact that someone else has to help her with the errands or do them for her, really takes a toll.

My Grandpa is more stubborn with having to give up the things he can't do anymore. But that's mostly just because he doesn't remember the doctor telling him what he is not able to do anymore. My grandpa's role has always been the protector of his family and his household; so when it came to having to remove his hunting rifles from his house, it was a huge shock for him. At the time, he was furious that they were gone but nowadays, he doesn't say much about them. Of course, my grandfather isn't allowed to drive either. There's more of a risk that he will drive off somewhere and all the sudden forget where he is and not remember how to get home because of the dementia. He's always walking around the house asking where his keys are. He searches is all the drawers and underneath everything and any kind of key he finds, he takes outside to try to get the cars to start. He has to be reminded to change his clothes and even to take showers.

I know they love having family around and all but I know they miss being able to to their normal routines. Both of them getting to this point health-wise, at the same time is really hard for them to cope with. Everything changed for my grandparents really quickly and even though it's tough to have to give up their freedom and independence, I know their both trying their best to do with what they have.


References
"Older People and Mental Heath," Mind: For Better Mental Heath: 2012 Mind.<http://www.mind.org.uk/help/people_groups_and_communities/older
_people_and_mental_health#carereceivers>.

My Grandpa has what's called Dementia.  Dementia is a condition that gradually affects all functions of the brain starting with memory.  Here's a link to PubMed Health explaining it with better detail.  My Grandpa's memory has been getting worse.  He doesn't remember my name anymore, along with the names of my cousins and the spouses of his children.  Every once in a while he even forgets who his kids are.  He doesn't even remember that he has Dementia but sometimes I think that's a good thing. 

My Grandpa's personality is kind of like the old man in the Tyler Perry movies, if that makes sense. He's always mubling curse words under his breath and joking and teasing everyone. And I think that's what makes things he says or does somewhat humorous.  One question that he always asks about every hour or so is "How old are you anyways?" Sometimes we just say random ages to see his reaction.  Every time we leave his house he says the same thing: "I know your a damn speed demon so be careful out on 210. Last weekend the policeman gave out over two hundred tickets!" One time, my mom made him brownies and one of my brother's friends took one and ate it and my grandpa threatened to "tie him up, throw him in a trash bag and put it out in the river." Ofcourse he was joking, we think. Haha. Whenever he sees my youngest cousin who is four, he'll poke her and say "You little devil!" And she just giggles.

Of all the things he forgets, the one person he remembers is my grandma. One day back when my grandma was still recovering from her stroke, we were talking and he asked, "So, do you know my wife?" I told him I did. He responded with, "Yeah, she's out at the hospital still. Did you know she's eighty-one? We're both getting old. But I tell you, I went and saw her yesterday and she looked just as beautiful as the first day I met her." And they say kids say the darndest things.

My topic for this blog is about my personal experiences with the struggles within my family to care for my grandparents who are both unable to be home alone anymore. My Grandpa has Dementia and my Grandmother had a stroke last year and was finally released from a nursing home/ rehabilitation center about three months ago. They have a day and a night nurse during the week and my family rotates taking care of them on the weekends.  I have six Uncles and Aunts and one of the close family friends helps within the weekend rotations. As organized as all that sounds, it quickly gets messy and stressful for everyone involved since caring for people is tough work but between doctors appointments and making meals we're all just trying to keep it together as best as we can.