I really don't know what to talk about this week. Nothing too big has really happend and for now, it seems as if everyone's getting along. There hasn't been any big fights and my parents, aunts, and uncles have been working together; as it should be. Even though it won't make a super interesting post, I am really glad to say that for now, everything is calm.
But ofcourse there is always something to mention. As you all know, my grandmother has been creating problems with one of the in-home nurses that help take care of her and my grandpa. The former day nurse that my grandma targeted isn't there anymore since last week was her final one and they have someone new working in her place now. When my grandma found out that she had quit, her response was one that I find a little...nuts I guess you could say.
She told my aunts, sounding a little remorseful, "Aww, she's gone? But we were just starting to get along."
Monday, February 27, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Alot of my recent posts have been about stress and a little on the sad side so I thought I'd lighten it up with one of my grandpa's amusing acts this past week.
Last week while the nurses were at my grandparents house, they got a good chuckle out of my grandpa's actions. Some time during the day, he dissapeared. The nurses were looking for him all over the house and went outside and started calling his name. He occasionally wanders and we worry that he'll get lost and forget where he is or get too tired to return. But as they looked outside for my grandpa, they see him coming out of the woods back towards the house.
Relieved and confused they ask, "Freddie where did you go?!"
His response was, "The toilet wasn't working, and I had to take a crap."
Last week while the nurses were at my grandparents house, they got a good chuckle out of my grandpa's actions. Some time during the day, he dissapeared. The nurses were looking for him all over the house and went outside and started calling his name. He occasionally wanders and we worry that he'll get lost and forget where he is or get too tired to return. But as they looked outside for my grandpa, they see him coming out of the woods back towards the house.
Relieved and confused they ask, "Freddie where did you go?!"
His response was, "The toilet wasn't working, and I had to take a crap."
Alot of talk has been going around in my family about possibly putting my grandparents in a home since the arrangements and the nurse situations have been getting more and more difficult.
My grandma is still completely convinced that my grandpa is having an affair with the nurses. So much so, that she's started to sleep in their bed again (which could set off her peircing back pain) with him to I guess,"catch him in the act". Everyone in the family has told her that it's ridiculous because literally my grandpa can barely get his shoes on... how in the world could he even begin to do the dirty?! It's nauseating to thing about. And finally the day nurse confronted my grandma because she had had enough of her under-breath accusations and hit attemps (now at two or three, I think) by telling her "I don't sleep with marrried men." Hopefully that got through my grandma's thick skull.
This week is the day nurses last week working at my grandparents house and in the rush of trying to find another nurse to fill in, thoughts of putting both of my grandparents in a nursing home together as become more prevalent since now we kind of know what we're dealing with. It's just two main things that are really making everyone think twice.
One being that since my grandpa was in the Army, he's got the military discounts and to keep him at the place my aunts looked at, it'd be about $140 a month but in order to keep my grandma there, it'd be $4,000 a month. I thought the benefits would help her too being they've been married for over fifty years, but unfortunately, I suppose that's not the case. Reason two is that if we put them in a home, my grandmother's depression could spiral out of hand. She already thinks no one cares about her when everyone's around all the time; so if she were taken from her house and put in a home, I think she'd really feel the abandonment that she already claims to feel.
My grandma is still completely convinced that my grandpa is having an affair with the nurses. So much so, that she's started to sleep in their bed again (which could set off her peircing back pain) with him to I guess,"catch him in the act". Everyone in the family has told her that it's ridiculous because literally my grandpa can barely get his shoes on... how in the world could he even begin to do the dirty?! It's nauseating to thing about. And finally the day nurse confronted my grandma because she had had enough of her under-breath accusations and hit attemps (now at two or three, I think) by telling her "I don't sleep with marrried men." Hopefully that got through my grandma's thick skull.
This week is the day nurses last week working at my grandparents house and in the rush of trying to find another nurse to fill in, thoughts of putting both of my grandparents in a nursing home together as become more prevalent since now we kind of know what we're dealing with. It's just two main things that are really making everyone think twice.
One being that since my grandpa was in the Army, he's got the military discounts and to keep him at the place my aunts looked at, it'd be about $140 a month but in order to keep my grandma there, it'd be $4,000 a month. I thought the benefits would help her too being they've been married for over fifty years, but unfortunately, I suppose that's not the case. Reason two is that if we put them in a home, my grandmother's depression could spiral out of hand. She already thinks no one cares about her when everyone's around all the time; so if she were taken from her house and put in a home, I think she'd really feel the abandonment that she already claims to feel.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Two sources that I am considering using for my anaysis paper are information articles called "Depression- Alzheimer's Society" and another one called "Older People and Mental Health." They are hyperlinked to each site. I chose these two because they both go into detail about Depression and Dementia and the connections between the two which are the two mental issues that my grandparents now live with and suffer from. These two sources have tons of information and I learned a lot from each of them that I can relate to my real life situations. I've been telling my parents what I've read in these factsheets and it's really been helping us understand what my grandparents are going through and why they are doing the things they do now.
All my aunts, uncles, and both my parents are very stressed and worried while having to care for my grandparents. All of the awaiting doctors' results and planning weekends leaves everyone feeling on edge most of the time. It's a lot easier for them to get mad at one another over who does what around the house. My aunts even bicker back and forth over who does more and petty things like that when this is the time where everyone needs to cooperate.
Sometimes it just seems as if my aunts and uncles treat my grandparents as a burden but we all, except my Uncle T.C. (who lives in Florida), don't live too far away from them. My Aunt Nikki refused to do a weekend the whole month of January because of the "bad weather" and the drive is "too long". She lives in Baltimore about an hour away from my grandparents; exactly the same amount of time it takes my family to get there and yet, we haven't missed a weekend. My Aunts Lorri and Eunice complain because they "do too much" and need "breaks". It makes me so angry because these are their PARENTS. Who have birthed, fed, supported, housed, cared for and more. They did this twenty four-seven for their kids' entire lives but all the sudden when they become ill and need their children for weekends, it's too hard, too much work and everyone suddenly needs a break. I understand life gets in the way but again, this is their parents and I just feel like it is nothing but whining and fighting.
I might be biased because they are my parents, but I really feel as if they put in a lot of the effort to pick up the slack. This is my Dad's family but he works on weekend nights and visits almost every day during the week. My Mom is the one who goes on our family's behalf for the weekend turns. This isn't even her blood family and she's never been close with my aunts or my grandparents but she still goes on weekends by herself to take care of them. My Mom will bake for my grandparents and spend time with them on weekends that aren't even hers just to help out since my Dad is having a rough time with the fact that he can't be there when he needs to be. She does so much for everyone and sometimes it seems like my aunts don't appreciate it. They just expected her to go on weekends by herself from the get go.
Whenever we have important events going on, because life does get in the way, my family will just trade weekends. My Mom asked for two weekends in June to have switched with someone because one is my brother's high school graduation, and the other is her grandpa's funeral. She's asked in advance when the new schedule came out about a month ago for those weekends to be traded and my aunts' responses were questioning why her grandpa's funeral was in the summer even though he died in October and followed by: "We don't know what we're doing those weekends yet so we can't commit." Keep in mind my Mom has even taken ( yes, taken and not switched) a weekend for my Aunt Lorri because she was "overwhelmed" and surprise! no one else stepped up to help.
It really just bothers me how my aunt's always demand respect, all the while half the things they do and say are just flat out stupid.
Sometimes it just seems as if my aunts and uncles treat my grandparents as a burden but we all, except my Uncle T.C. (who lives in Florida), don't live too far away from them. My Aunt Nikki refused to do a weekend the whole month of January because of the "bad weather" and the drive is "too long". She lives in Baltimore about an hour away from my grandparents; exactly the same amount of time it takes my family to get there and yet, we haven't missed a weekend. My Aunts Lorri and Eunice complain because they "do too much" and need "breaks". It makes me so angry because these are their PARENTS. Who have birthed, fed, supported, housed, cared for and more. They did this twenty four-seven for their kids' entire lives but all the sudden when they become ill and need their children for weekends, it's too hard, too much work and everyone suddenly needs a break. I understand life gets in the way but again, this is their parents and I just feel like it is nothing but whining and fighting.
I might be biased because they are my parents, but I really feel as if they put in a lot of the effort to pick up the slack. This is my Dad's family but he works on weekend nights and visits almost every day during the week. My Mom is the one who goes on our family's behalf for the weekend turns. This isn't even her blood family and she's never been close with my aunts or my grandparents but she still goes on weekends by herself to take care of them. My Mom will bake for my grandparents and spend time with them on weekends that aren't even hers just to help out since my Dad is having a rough time with the fact that he can't be there when he needs to be. She does so much for everyone and sometimes it seems like my aunts don't appreciate it. They just expected her to go on weekends by herself from the get go.
Whenever we have important events going on, because life does get in the way, my family will just trade weekends. My Mom asked for two weekends in June to have switched with someone because one is my brother's high school graduation, and the other is her grandpa's funeral. She's asked in advance when the new schedule came out about a month ago for those weekends to be traded and my aunts' responses were questioning why her grandpa's funeral was in the summer even though he died in October and followed by: "We don't know what we're doing those weekends yet so we can't commit." Keep in mind my Mom has even taken ( yes, taken and not switched) a weekend for my Aunt Lorri because she was "overwhelmed" and surprise! no one else stepped up to help.
It really just bothers me how my aunt's always demand respect, all the while half the things they do and say are just flat out stupid.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Lately, my grandma hasn't been doing as great. She was diagnosed with Depression about a year ago and it hasnt been easy for her especially since now that she's struggling with not being as heathly as she once was and her depression has been getting worse. She says things like no one cares about her, and that she wishes she would've just died when she had the stroke. It's painful to hear her talk about those things because she has a bunch of people that really do care and go above and beyond to make sure she would survive.
Last week she had a doctor's appointment with the Neurologist. She freaked out when she found out that she had to go to see him because my grandpa also sees the same doctor and she didn't want to go see the 'crazy doctor'. Once someone finally explained that a neurologist is a brain doctor and both strokes and demetia happen in the brain and that's why she has to see him, she calmed down. I think she's been really stressed out these past few weeks because for a while, she thought she really did have dementia. She was reading a list of symptoms and realized that she has alot of them in common.
My mom and I did some reaserch and came across a few articles about Dementia and Depression having many similarities. So instead of it being early signs of dementia, it could really just be her depression becoming more severe. My grandma is also on a lot of differnt medications that could be contributing to her forgetfulness and her paranoia.
The thing that makes us all unsure that it's only depression alone is that she's been accusing my grandpa of having an affair with the night nurse. We've all tried to tell her that it's not true at all but she still for some reason thinks the young, late-twenties nurse is interested in her over eighty, pees himself husband.
That night nuse put in her two weeks about a week ago because my grandma tried to hit her. Everone's been on edge and extremely stressed because of all the things my grandma has been doing and saying lately. The Neurologists' assesment of the appiontment was that she's still sharp and can recall things when asked. He said that it could possibly be early signs of dementia but gave her Zoloft for now. Hopefully that'll help and my aunt's are supposed to talk to the family doctor about decreasing some of the clshing medications she's been on.
Last week she had a doctor's appointment with the Neurologist. She freaked out when she found out that she had to go to see him because my grandpa also sees the same doctor and she didn't want to go see the 'crazy doctor'. Once someone finally explained that a neurologist is a brain doctor and both strokes and demetia happen in the brain and that's why she has to see him, she calmed down. I think she's been really stressed out these past few weeks because for a while, she thought she really did have dementia. She was reading a list of symptoms and realized that she has alot of them in common.
My mom and I did some reaserch and came across a few articles about Dementia and Depression having many similarities. So instead of it being early signs of dementia, it could really just be her depression becoming more severe. My grandma is also on a lot of differnt medications that could be contributing to her forgetfulness and her paranoia.
The thing that makes us all unsure that it's only depression alone is that she's been accusing my grandpa of having an affair with the night nurse. We've all tried to tell her that it's not true at all but she still for some reason thinks the young, late-twenties nurse is interested in her over eighty, pees himself husband.
That night nuse put in her two weeks about a week ago because my grandma tried to hit her. Everone's been on edge and extremely stressed because of all the things my grandma has been doing and saying lately. The Neurologists' assesment of the appiontment was that she's still sharp and can recall things when asked. He said that it could possibly be early signs of dementia but gave her Zoloft for now. Hopefully that'll help and my aunt's are supposed to talk to the family doctor about decreasing some of the clshing medications she's been on.
Taking care of both my grandparents is a very hard task. They have two professional nurses during the week: a night nurse and a day nurse. During the weekends we as a family have a rotation system that happens between the six families. The day nurse leaves at seven so to take over for her, you have to be there at or before seven. My Mom has been the one going to care for my grandparents on our family's behalf. They are actually my Dad's parents but he works nights on the weekends, so she and sometimes either my brother or I go with her to help because it really us a lot of work.
What she does is, go to Maryland where my grandparents live right when she gets out of work at four and gets the grocery list that is made throught the week. So before the nurse leaves, my Mom will go to the store and get all the groceries needed. After the day nurse leaves, my Mom makes dinner for them and makes sure they take their medicines. After dinner she's then to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes. My grandparents go to sleep fairly early but my Mom sleeps out on the couch so she can hear them if they wake up and need help.
Saturdays normally go as follows:
What she does is, go to Maryland where my grandparents live right when she gets out of work at four and gets the grocery list that is made throught the week. So before the nurse leaves, my Mom will go to the store and get all the groceries needed. After the day nurse leaves, my Mom makes dinner for them and makes sure they take their medicines. After dinner she's then to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes. My grandparents go to sleep fairly early but my Mom sleeps out on the couch so she can hear them if they wake up and need help.
Saturdays normally go as follows:
- When my grandpa wakes up in the morning to go to the bathroom, Get my grandpa's dirty clothes from the day before out of his bedroom (sometimes he pees himself so you have to get his clothes before he tries to put them back on. And whenever he goes to the bathroom you have to wipe down the floor because sometimes he misses)
- Help my grandma get up and give her her walker
- Get my grandma dressed; my grandpa dresses himself
- Give them their morning pills
- Make breakfast
- Eat
- Clean up after breakfast
- Start laundry
- My mom usually starts a project or activity like cleaning out their drawers or cabinets, looking for things my grandpa loses, dusting, or looking in photo albums with my grandma. Things to keep them busy
- Make lunch
- Clean up after lunch and my grandparents usually nap after
- More laundry
- My mom will try to take a short nap or read a book and relax for a bit
- Then dinner time, pills, and clean and the nighttime routine goes on.
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