This past Saturday, I went with my Dad to visit my grandmother at the psych ward in Baltimore. I have to say i've never been to a place like that and I was actually pretty nervous. I don't like seeing the people who live in places like psych wards or nursing homes.

 One reason being that I hate the smells. Between the weird food smells and the smell of sick people, I always want to hold my breath while being in those kinds of places. Secondly, because I just hate seeing older people who aren't able to do anything and seem like they're suffering. For example, the people who can't talk, eat or walk and all they do is sleep and drool. It makes me really uncomfortable to see someone so weak and heavily medicated. All I can think about is the fact that that person is someone's parent, sibling, cousin or best friend and the thought of any of my family or friends in that condition would crush me so I imagine how hard it is for others.

The first thing I noticed about this part of the hospital in Baltimore was that it was SO nice! The lunch rooms, hallways, lobbies and patient rooms were very clean, and had such comfortable furniture to sit on. The colors they used were bright and there was art made by patients and dontated to the hospital by other people hanging on all the walls or sitting in window stills along the hallways. But then again the only psych wards i've seen are the dirty ones portrayed in movies. Though it is good to know they aren't like that (or at least the one my grandma isn't like that)!

Seeing my grandma though was a different story. She looks weaker than ever now. She's lost alot of weight and her hair is becoming more gray and brittle. The second she saw us, she started crying which made my Dad really upset too. Throughout our visit she would randomly just start sobbing so I had to keep talking about random things like my brother and school and work to get her to stop. She even started to mention my grandpa and his women at one point. Some of the strange things the other patients were doing distracted her also.

We were out in the lobby of the wing she was in, when another patient, a tired looking woman in a wheelchair, reached out and grabbed my Dad's pants and said," What size do you wear?". He turned around real fast to look and when she realized she did not know my Dad, she was like,"Sorry I thought you were my husband standing right next to me." She kept mumbling things to herself afterwards, too. Another man kept lifting up his hospital gown but thankfully he had shorts on under it. A shorter woman got out of her seat and started to try to throw her chair and then tried to stand on it but the nurses made her stop. There was another older man who had his hands bandaged (i'm guessing so he wouldn't scratch himself) and his legs were extremely skinny.

I'm really glad I went to see my grandma and even though we were really only there for an hour (you can't stay long or else she starts getting really irritable) and even though she spent most of the time being upset, I know she was glad to see me and my Dad. And even though there really were some odd people there, it made me feel better that I got to see her too. The reason why she was so upset was because she thinks that the doctor is going to make her stay there for longer than just two weeks. Honestly, unless they get her on the right meds or some kind of miracle happens I, too, think she is going to be there for a while.